Living The Dream
Lovers and haters,
We gather here and now for the making of a holy sacred vow.
So make some room for the bride and groom -
Yours truly,
Mc groom-e-o.
Check it out, yo.
With my hair gelled back and my best suit on,
With my girl by my side and the tickets to San Juan in my pocket,
My heart is taking off like a rocket.
Yeah, yeah.
I walk the walk down the festooned aisle with a smile all the while everybody’s staring.
All but Aunt Karen with her hair in a beehive and a sour puss face.
See that girl in the lace?
Flyest girl in the place?
That’s my soul mate.
Just because you’re jealous doesn’t mean that you can tell us not to celebrate.
Nah, haters,
You got it all wrong.
Don’t you see?
This is where we belong?
At the altar.
I do.
She do.
It’s true.
I’m her boo.
Ain’t nobody ever gonna kill this buzz of a richer love than ever will be, is, or was.
It’s impossible to do because,
You know,
I’m livin’ the dream.
Hey hey yeah.
You’re livin’ the dream.
Yeah, livin’ the dream y’all.
Hey hey yeah.
With a mortgage like a real suburbanite.
Hey hey yeah.
You’re livin’ the dream.
Yeah, livin’ the dream.
Hey hey yeah.
With a kid on my knee and an SUV,
I’ll be showin’ off my rims at mommy and me.
Yeah.
I’m like a homeboy.
Yeah.
But I don’t got the angst.
A 401k and a job at the bank.
Livin’ the dream.
I can see it now –
Me and my girl making trips to big lots,
Buying everything in bulk from diapers to tater tots.
I’m like the hulk as I carry all our shit to a house so pimped out you can barely even sit.
To wit:
We got the stroller.
It’s got a hiding space in back.
We got the universal remote controller.
It’s workin’ cable, DVD, and the tracks.
It’s still sort of fucked up,
Gotta turn the TV on by hand.
But that’s cool –
We’ll figure it out –
The TV’s just a different brand.
It’s Panasonic.
Yeah.
And the TV’s a Sony.
Anyway, I’ll be coming home at night to an exotic cuisine.
My baby can cook anything as long as it’s lean.
She’s keeping me svelte.
I’m losing notches on my belt.
But that’s the hand I’m dealt.
So if I have to sneak a burger or two?
I do.
I have to.
My wife would kill me if she knew.
But that’s married life, right?
That’s how they do you, right?
That’s how they whip ya,
Skinny dip ya in the above ground pool, right?
You’re a fool for it.
Y’buy her jewels for it.
But she’s the one letting you spoon her in your quilt-top king-size bed.
That’s right polite of her.
Being whipped ain’t news, bro.
It’s just how you lose your bed and then your head to a love supreme.
That’s living the dream.
Hey hey yeah.
You’re livin’ the dream.
Yeah, livin’ the dream, y’all.
Hey hey yeah.
With my golden retriever at the dog park.
Hey hey yeah.
You’re livin’ the dream.
Yeah, livin’ the dream.
Hey hey yeah.
With my argyle sweater and a pair of slacks,
I’m at the country club where the rich relax.
Yeah.
Who needs an Audi?
Yeah.
I got a golf cart.
He’s ready to break in the new Cuisin-art.
Livin’ the dream.
Hey hey yeah.
You’re livin’ the dream.
Yeah, livin’ the dream, y’all.
Hey hey yeah.
Yeah. that’s right…
I’m getting myself married…
Hey hey yeah.
You’re livin’ the dream.
In T-minus 10 minutes…
Hey hey yeah.
And I’m fuckin’ psyched, yo…
Hey hey yeah.
Peace out.
