My Party Dress

from HENRY AND MUDGE

Did you see my party dress?

This morning I was feeling dressy.

Mother thinks I’ll get it messy,

But you cannot see where I have spilled.

I spilled here.

And here.

And here.

And here.

Oh no, that was on my other dress.

John Michael stole my birthday cake,

And Jenna Walker tried to take

My Crunch ‘n Munch. It wasn’t fair.

I grabbed the punch.

I climbed the chair.

And then I fell and punch went everywhere.

On the floor.

On the chair.

On his shoes.

In her hair…

But it wasn’t on my party dress.

John Michael once made fun of soccer,

So I stuffed him in a locker.

I play soccer and I play the flute.

I do art,

And discovery camp,

And tumbling,

And tee ball,

And I play piano every night.

My dad says I’m a prodigy,

But I think I would rather be

The FBI or CIA,

A secret spy who saves the day,

And when I finish saving it I’ll play

Ode to Joy,

Injun Joe,

Frére Jacques,

Allegro,

The Pachelbel Canon,

And also this song I wrote

Ah-ah-ah

La-la-la-la-la

La-la-la-la-la

La-la-la-la-la.

It has words:

“I’m a spy,

And it’s really fun,

And I wear a cape,

And…”

Do you like party dress?

When I do pirouettes it rustles.

I buy all my clothes in Brussels.

Dad says that’s where Brussels Sprouts are from.

I’ve toured Brussels,

And Paris,

And Vienna,

And this one time,

We pretended

To go to Rome

But we went to Iceland.

And in Iceland,

My dad presided

Over an international corporate trade hearing…

Woops, that was a secret.

And we saw the Reykjavik Ballet.

My dance class is on Saturday.

Miss Laura and Miss Lisa say

I’m much more bright than I appear

I chassé right. It’s very clear

That I’ll be in the Nutcracker next year

As a mouse,

Then a soldier,

Then a marzipan

Or a candy cane,

Then a Russian,

Or an angel,

Then a Polichinelle.

Let me dance to this song,

‘cause I wrote it so well.

It goes “Ah-ah-ah.

I will dance until

I play all the parts

In the great ballet.”

Sing with me!

Ah-ah-ah.

I will do a turn.

And another turn.

Mother says I’ll quit.

I will never quit.

I will do a split.

And I guess that’s it.

Oh and one day when I’m president,

My bedtime will be very late

So I have time to legislate

The kinds of laws I think are cool.

I’ll pass a clause to banish school.

And then all of the countries that I rule

Will be peaceful,

And happy,

And comfortable,

And satin,

And frilly,

And pretty,

And lacey, and silky, and perfect, and pink

Like my pa-ah-ah-ah-ah…

She attempts a cadenza.

My party dress.