Not a Love Story
from Tales from the Bad Years
It’s not a love story.
It’s not a coming of age.
It’s not the kind of thing you put into a play.
It’s just a small story.
Just two friends all grown up.
It happens.
It happens.
It happens one day.
Why today?
We saw our breath, though it was hardly winter.
A passerby would say he’d seen it all before.
The folded arms.
The wounded eyes.
The signs that we both ignored.
The old cathedral looming in the shadows,
The only thing we saw amid the threat of tears.
We didn’t speak.
Our lips were numb.
The world didn’t crumble.
You say goodbye, but do you really know it’s over?
You say goodbye, but do you comprehend it?
You go along,
Thinking that things like this never change.
And then they go and change.
It’s not a love story.
It’s not a coming of age.
It’s not the kind of thing you put into a play.
It’s just a small story.
Just two friends all grown up.
It happens.
It happens.
It happens one day.
Why… Does it keep coming back to one dark second?
We’re skipping physics just to hold each other’s hands.Our stomachs quake.
Our first mistake:
We go on demanding more.
Until we’re sleeping in a squalid dorm room.
The lower bunk.
We hold each other so tight.
‘Cause there’s no room here at all.
We have to spoon or we’ll fall.
But we refuse; we will not say the bed is too small…
For us.
We only wanted more.
Unending.
More.
A horizon stretching out as far as we can see.
I’d have you.
You’d have me.
As sure as time would pass,
As permanent as stone cathedrals.
Maybe if we hadn’t skipped physics,
We’d know everything has a decay.
We hadn’t learned yet that each romance has a last day.
Cathedral bells rang out to mark the hour,
Reminding us that this was just another night,
That hours pass,
That morning breaks,
That somehow there’s still sunlight.
You say goodbye,
But do you really know it’s over?
You say goodbye,
But do you comprehend it?
There was a time when you were sure
Some things wouldn’t change…
But that can also change.
It’s not a love story.
It’s just a small story.
And it happens one day.
Why today?
August 25th, 2008 at 10:23 am
September 3rd, 2008 at 6:22 pm
You know… listening to the three versions of this song make me really appreciate how much each performer brings into to it. It’s the same song, but all three versions are beautiful and somehow unique. This song is gorgeous, one of my favourites, and the video is amazing…
September 5th, 2008 at 8:50 am
This song is really personal for me so I take who performs it very seriously. So far, we have been so lucky to have absolutely exquisite performances of it. But it’s true, they’re all unique. I think it’s probably because the lyrics don’t give that much away about the emotional story so each actress gets to infuse a lot of herself into it. I didn’t think about it that way when I was writing it but that seems to be the case now that I’m watching it in performance.
September 6th, 2008 at 9:04 pm
umm, it’s interesting that you say that it’s really personal to you, because that comes across with an amazing impact. The first time I heard it I was absolutely stunned, it just took me right in (and the effect hasn’t worn off, I still feel the same way whenever I listen, no matter which version) and there is something about it that’s very genuine, very real and somehow easy to relate.
I just love the lyrics because they’re so powerful… I love how the old cathedral, which has a sort of imposing, timeless quality (it reminds me of when I went to Notre Dame when I visited Paris, and how small and young I felt) contrasts with the fragility of a simple relationship that isn’t “the kind of thing you put into a play.” That’s just such beautiful, beautiful writing that I can’t help but be in awe.
Anyway, sorry for writing such a long post! I’ll stop now!
September 9th, 2008 at 10:50 pm
I am seriously playing this song on repeat (well repeating it a lot from youtube!) It is one of the most beautiful songs I have heard, not only from you guys, but one of the most beautiful songs ever, period. I feel like it was written for me, each line reminds me of exactly how it felt to lost my first love in college. Amazing. I feel like you have written a song for every relationship I’ve been in haha, I recently got out of one because it was…”not my way”..haha man I’m a huge dork. I love your music so much!!
September 11th, 2008 at 5:14 pm
We just created a free download as a thank you for our fans and anyone who is reading the comments on this page should DEFINITELY get the free download (which happens to be an MP3 of Not a Love Story). Go to http://www.kerrigan-lowdermilk.com/freedownload.html and enjoy!
September 11th, 2008 at 6:52 pm
YES! No more depending on my crappy internet to play this through youtube…thank you!!!!
-Jackie
September 14th, 2008 at 8:07 pm
seriously, you two are the most impressive songwriters i have heard since i first heard jason robert brown. i seriously love all of your music and am actually going to use this song (well.. sixteen bars of it anyway. from “we only wanted more..” to “every romance has a last day,”) for my college auditions. it is a gorgeous piece. the whole tales from the bad years is spectacular.
-Brittany
September 20th, 2008 at 11:49 am
This song is stunning- the piano is both dark and light, it sort of weighs down and anchors the song. But the lyrics are what makes the song perfect. You juxtaposed big ideas and big wishes “We only wanted more/Unending” and “There was a time when you were sure some things never change/ But that can also change” with the little details that provide with the sharpest of imagery “Until we’re sleeping in a squalid dorm room/The lower bunk…” or “We saw our breath though it was hardly winter.” I can see the blue sky, taste the chill and still feel the greater remorse and faint hope in the song.
October 9th, 2008 at 3:49 pm
This song is beautiful. It makes me cry.
You guys are my favourite songwriters.
October 30th, 2008 at 11:31 pm
I just wanted to let you guys know just how important this song is to me. I went through a pretty bad breakup and just days later, I found the Phoebe Strole version on youtube and couldn’t believe songwriters had perfectly nailed exactly every emotion I was feeling. This song still has such an impact om me months later. Thank you guys so much!
November 14th, 2008 at 6:49 pm
I just had to come on here and say how absolutely breathtaking this song is. I had first heard it from a youtube video with Phoebe Strole and have been enamored with it ever since. I agree with what everyone else has said in that it really is so completely easy to relate to and at the same time, it feels so completely personal. I can’t really explain it, but it’s an amazing effect. I added it to my myspace page recently and have found myself constantly listening to it. Thank you so much for the free download. I can’t wait to get it onto my ipod because I know it will be one of my top played songs. lol.
Again, amazing job and thank you so much.
January 2nd, 2009 at 11:50 pm
This song is probably one of the most beautiful things I’ve ever heard. Not exaggerating.
I cried the first time I heard it, because it’s the sort of song that can touch someone in a very individual way, but it still has broad appeal–it touches everyone that hears it. I think that’s the genius of it.
January 11th, 2009 at 7:23 pm
This song is just incredible.
It continues to make me cry everytime I hear it.
I feel like it’s so beautifully written that
it has the power to touch everyone in their own way.
It is amazing. <3
January 23rd, 2009 at 9:58 pm
I’m absolutely in love with this song. I went through a very rough time with a friend in the past month and this song practically encompasses EVERYTHING that we went through. I’m very tempted to sing this in my theatre department’s senior showcase in April.
March 23rd, 2009 at 4:40 pm
Hi Kait,
I was hoping you could in some way give me some insight to Not a Love Story. I mentioned in my previous post that I was looking at singing this song in my theatre department’s senior showcase as I will be graduating college in May. Thankfully, that desire will be come a reality! I was curious if you had any extra insight outside of the lyrics that I can work with, develop, and incorporate into my performance. Anything you could offer would be amazing!
And permitting, I would like to post a video of the performance on YouTube for of course, you and Brian to see, as well as friends and family who would not be able to attend to see it live!
March 23rd, 2009 at 5:22 pm
You should definitely post on youtube. And you can get more general information on TALES FROM THE BAD YEARS on the bad years show page on our website. Specific information about this song? It acts a lot more like a pop song than a traditional musical theater song - so I wouldn’t worry as much about the literal truth of it, rather I’d focus on the emotional truth of it: what it means to you.
That said, I think you can divide the song pretty equally into three parts. 1 - the actual moment she’s in (early spring, on a street corner near a cathedral, breaking up with someone) 2. the wash of memory that floods over her in the moment (their first tentative steps towards a relationship, their college sleepovers, etc) 3. her attempt to name what the relationship actually means to her (to perhaps downplay its significance, to figure out why it hurts - anything to attempt a recovery).
We sort of start in scene and spiral into these memories and these internal thoughts only to come back to the scene at hand, where ultimately, she can justify to herself that this is what happens - that ending is what relationships do and that in fact, hers IS ending today. And it isn’t that she wishes some fairytale ending. I don’t get the particular sense that she believes in fairytales (she romanticizes physics after all) - it’s just that she wishes it could have lasted a little longer.
Or something… Hope that helps.
March 23rd, 2009 at 8:03 pm
Thank you soo much! I hope I can do it justice!
March 27th, 2009 at 3:02 am
I am in love with this song. It’s beautiful and wonderful, and I’m planning on using it for a few auditions if you don’t mind. I love so much of your work, and can’t wait to hear more.
March 29th, 2009 at 9:37 pm
I’m planning on performing this for a music department concert at my college, and I need a little help from you, Kait. I’m more classically trained, so my musical theater sound is more legit rather than a true belt–I definitely don’t have a pop voice. What suggestions/help can you give me for singing this song?
March 30th, 2009 at 11:09 am
first - i’d say you should listen to the recording we have of Lisa Howard singing. She’s got a much more classically trained voice and I think she sounds wonderful. It’s not about belting. I think it’s very much about vocal smoothness and telling the story. Hope that helps.
April 20th, 2009 at 11:51 pm
Kait! Had my senior showcase tonight! The song was a HUGE success!!! I’m pretty sure I brought some audience members to tears! I’m working on getting a copy of the video, then at that point, I will let you know as soon as I get the video up on YouTube. Thanks again for all the great information about the song, the journey leading to tonight was worth it!
April 21st, 2009 at 4:12 am
YAY! Congrats! Hope to see the video soon.
May 9th, 2009 at 1:33 pm
I love this song, and I think the content is gender neutral. Tried singing it—it can be sung, but I guess it’s more effective for a woman’s voice.
I’m a guy and I’ve been through this kind of thing before and this song reminded me enough that the memory cut keenly again. That’s great song writing.
July 24th, 2009 at 5:41 pm
This might be might favorite song of yours. I am currently searching for auditions just so I can sing it!
August 14th, 2009 at 3:49 am
I still cry when it hits me just right.
November 2nd, 2009 at 3:10 am
I saw the production at theatreworks. this song was so beautiful, and the dancing paired with it just amplified the amazingness of both pieces. the video you posted is private. is there anyway i could find a copy of it somewhere (or of the other songs in the show? I keep trying to explain to my friends why it was so great, but i’d like to show them
November 2nd, 2009 at 2:38 pm
The videos had to be taken down because of contract stuff. We just linked to them while they were available but they’re not anymore. Sorry! But I’m so glad you liked the show and liked the dancing. We were really proud of it!
November 23rd, 2009 at 9:25 pm
I was fortunate enough to come across this site with all of your music last week when I was looking for the lyrics to Freedom.
Two of my friends performed it at our Thespian District competition and I was in shock. I couldn’t believe I had never heard any of these songs before.
Not a Love Story has to be my favorite song, aside from Say the Word. Honestly I havn’t stopped listening to it for the past…three days maybe? I can’t say I know what exactly the character is singing about but theres something about the lyrics that reminds me of a relationship I was in. It literally brought me to tears when I first heard it.
I just wanted to say that everything I’ve heard so far is just absolutely breathtaking. The music, the lyrics, they have this way of pulling the listener into another world. And I love every second I’m there.
Thank you for giving this to the world. I really hope to hear more from you guys.
January 9th, 2010 at 7:02 pm
Such an amazing song! I lovee Phoebe Strole’s version. That girl has an amazing voice and the videos of her performing your songs have been some of my most played videos lately. =]
January 15th, 2010 at 11:42 pm
Wow. I’m so in love with this song.
February 25th, 2010 at 3:49 pm
Hey, I absoloutely adore this song and am planning on doing it for my singing assesment at college but I need to know about the character im playing. could you help me out? I need to know her name and things like that, thanks.
February 26th, 2010 at 12:35 am
It’s from a song cycle so there is no character “name” per say. It will be the name of the person who originates the part, most likely. This is an early song for the character but it’s pretty self-contained as a song and it sort of has its own rules as a story. It relates to the rest of the show as they’re all stories about people coming of age, but this is one self-contained example. I wish I could give you more but it’s not a book musical - it’s more the story of a generation than of one particular character… I hope that helps?
April 10th, 2010 at 3:32 pm
Ah I see, yeah this helps a lot, thankyou, you’re a star!
April 26th, 2010 at 12:00 am
I LOVE this song! Fantastic job! I’m singing it for my next voice recital
May 25th, 2010 at 12:39 am
I will be performing this in the future. How would you feel if I wrote a little dialogue or something to set it up before the song is sung? (only for my performance of course) I realize that the song can speak for itself, so I’m fine either way. Just curious how you felt about it. LOVE THE SONG BY THE WAY. SOOOO POWERFUL!
May 27th, 2010 at 12:30 am
Not sure what you mean by dialogue. If you mean writing something to introduce the song in a cabaret or something, that’s fine. Writing an actual dialogue between two people out of context might be a little confusing - but what do I know? It’s your intro. As long as it’s clear that it’s your work, I don’t see a problem.
June 1st, 2010 at 12:19 am
Can you put the lyrics up for Party Worth Crashing?
June 17th, 2010 at 9:47 pm
I heard this song and immediately fell in love with it. What made me happy was that is was kinda gender neutral if you never heard it before. I sang it at a recital last night, people were crying from it and the whole sha-bang. Everyone thought I wrote it since everyone else was singing Wicked and Rent. I told them, “I WISH” and credited you guys. You know have more Kerrigan and Lowdermilk listeners! Honestly, thank you for writing such beautiful music, especially this piece. It speaks a lot to me and, apparently, my audience.I got a friend to record it, I’ll put it on YouTube, if it’s okay with you.
-James
P.S. Is there a recording on YouTube of a guy singing this song or am I the first?
June 21st, 2010 at 9:22 am
I think you might be the first. Definitely post the link from YouTube so we can all see it. And I’m so glad that it went over so well at your recital. Congratulations!
June 24th, 2010 at 2:55 am
this song gets me every time i listen to it. I have always admired musical theatre from either the audience or back stage. but this song spoke to me so much that i knew i had to do something about performing it. my college has a music theatre workshop class that students get to pick what they perform and i, never having had the guts to sing or perform for an audience, signed up for the class, knowing this was the song i wanted to sing. i know i can’t do the song the justice it deserves, but it i’ll try my hardest! thank you for writing such a touching song and for inspiring me to finally step out from behind the shadows.
August 24th, 2010 at 6:07 pm
Oh guys - I can’t believe we haven’t posted this. Kelly O’Hara made our lives: