“How To Return Home”
from The Freshman Experiment
Your bare feet sliding on the old wooden floorboards,
Home just as you left it but still you’re shaken,
Like walking into a museum somehow out of time.
It’s all the same except the girl in the hallway,
Where she’s been and who she will ripen into,
Your childhood’s on the other side of a sprawling divide… too wide.
Take a silent breath.
Hold in the change.
Tell yourself you still live here.
Take your bags upstairs.
It’s the only way you’ll get through today.
Count the hours.
Take a shower.
Wash yourself away.
The house is pulsing with an alien heartbeat,
Was it always here but you never listened?
It’s calling you to be the girl that you were way back then… again.
Take a silent breath.
Hold in the change.
Tell yourself you still live here.
Take your bags upstairs.
Put away your clothes, take it nice and slow.
Be their daughter.
Nothing’s harder
When nobody knows
How to return home.
How to return home
And how to survive,
There’s no written guidelines.
How to go back,
How to show up and unpack.
How to show up.
How to grow up.
How to take a breath.
Take a silent breath.
Hold in the change.
Tell yourself you still live here.
Take your bags upstairs.
You still share a name
But you’re not the same.
You don’t fight it.
You don’t hide it.
It’s a whole new game of how to return home.
How to return home.
How to return home.
How to return home.
Your bare feet sliding on the old wooden floorboards,
Home just as you left it but still you’re shaken.
November 25th, 2008 at 1:57 am
I recently heard this song during a rehearsal for a musical cabaret I was performing in and I was absolutely blown away by how perfectly it captured exactly what I was feeling right then. I’m not a freshman in college anymore but sitting here in my living room after just arriving home for Thanksgiving I can say that listening to this song is like hearing exactly how I feel played out in front of me. The music and lyrics are both absolutely beautiful and are so meaningful to such a wide audience. You two are absolutely amazing songwriters and I am so happy to have finally been introduced to your work! Good luck with everything!
November 26th, 2008 at 11:59 am
I actually AM a freshman returning from college… and yeah. this song. absolutely phenomenal. it really captures how unsettling it is to feel like a stranger in a place you grew up after only a few months away. SO glad i came across you guys’ website, i am definitely in the process of adding a few of your songs to my rep book. thank you for being geniuses!
February 6th, 2009 at 7:42 pm
When I first went home from school during thanksgiving my parents had moved every single piece of furniture in our house. It was so completely unsettling, and not at all the same on a very basic level.
March 31st, 2009 at 11:09 pm
i absolutely love this song so much! i sing it pretty much every time i go home, and i would love to record a cover of it one day soon, i just need to transpose it down a half step maybe, and change the girl stuff to boy. but yeah, this is one of the best songs i’ve heard in a very long time! i love your work!
April 13th, 2009 at 7:58 pm
Such a beautiful moving song. The lyrics really capture the moment, and are truly brilliant. I love how easily the music flows. This song is a great collaboration, and so heartfelt!
July 11th, 2009 at 5:23 pm
What key does Laura sing the song in? I really like her version!
November 6th, 2009 at 2:51 pm
theres a video of phoebe strole singing this song on youtube… and i’m a little confused. cuz it says on there that its from bad years. But here it says its from fresh x. ?? I’m confused.
but i absolutely LOVE this song!!!!!!!! :]
November 7th, 2009 at 8:28 pm
it was originally written for “the freshman experiment” and then added to “tales from the bad years”. a few songs from “the freshman experiment” are now in bad years. glad you like the song!
January 9th, 2010 at 6:52 pm
I stumbled across a video on YouTube of Phoebe Strole doing this song and it is INCREDIBLE! I’ve been listening to it almost non-stop since I found it. Awesome song, awesome lyrics, awesome singer. =]
April 4th, 2010 at 8:08 pm
I love this song! I listen to it about 50 times a day! Caissie Levy singing it is my favorite version. She’s incredible. I want to perform this song so bad! It’s just phenominal! =)
April 23rd, 2010 at 12:49 am
I just discovered the video on YouTube of Caissie Levy singing this song and I think I’ve probably played it 10 times already! You make a fantastic pair, I also love “Run Away With Me” and I can’t wait to listen to more of your songs!
June 4th, 2010 at 3:38 pm
I didn’t go to university, just finished school and took off on my own or a while, to ‘find myself’ - I never felt like I was supposed to be here. I came back and they’d redecorated the hallway. I didn’t know they were even planning to. Turns out that instead of ‘finding myself’, I’d lost and left myself somewhere one my travels. I walked in and wanted to turn around again. Even months later this song is like a punch in the face every time I listen to it.
It’s absolutely incredible.
June 28th, 2010 at 9:43 pm
This is perfect. I just finished up my freshman year and I’m home for the summer. This is exactly how I feel. All the friends I had in High School are just as different as I am…and we dont get along as well as we did…the dynamic is changed. The friends younger than me seem to have forgotten I exist. The worst part of coming home is living out of a suitcase for the 1 week break that you’re home. You’re a visitor in your own home.